My Poor Knee

So, what happened last Thursday?
I was training taekwondo, we were doing some kicks from different distances. I was doing them OK but suddenly when I was doing bandal tsaki and moving forward at the same time I felt angry stinging pain in my knee. And all the sudden I was laying in the ground, holding my knee and moaning and trying to catch my breath. The pain was horrible. I tried to get on my back but all I could do was curl up in a fetus position and squeese my knee hard. Quite soon I guess I got my eyes open and the pain was quite gone. I could breathe again. At the same time I got some cold bandages (that is wet paper) for my knee. The pain was gone, I could walk and bend my knee. It had a slight wobbly feeling and I went to sit besides our tatami and held my knee up and squeesed it. I tried to listen if something went broken, but there was no pain, I could walk and bend it like normally.
I promised to go to a doctor (of course) and walked back home (I didn't dare to ride a bike). There it started to hurt a bit, but nothing bad. I was a bit terrified what would happen and didn't sleep well. The next day I first called to a doctor to get an appointment. I couldn't bend my knee anymore, or get it straight. It still wasn't hurting though. I went to a lab to finish up my things (I had a short day as my parents would come during noon) and left for a doctor (Santtu was happy to take me there, I guess that was some kind of revege? ;) and he was half an hour late. Then he tried to bend my knee in different positions but it hurt like hell, he didn't have needles to puncute my knee and said it wouldn't be hygienic enough anyway (there's some renovation going on) and he sent me to the hospital, gave me some pain medication and one week sick leave. Well, I went back to lab (as a real scientists do ;), finished my day and soon my parents came. I took them to eat something, showed our labs and then Dad took me to the hospital with my Mom. She stayed there and waited with me, so I didn't need to be alone.
I waited for two hours to get x-rayed (great big machine, I was excited :D) and one more hour to see the doctor. He told me that my x-rays were OK, and said that a medical student (she was there all the time too) would puncture my knee to see if there's blood or not. She was a bit hesitant but I said she could push my knee as much as needed, it didn't hurt. But she couldn't get anything out so the doctor came back and sucked 20 ml blood from my knee (it was REALLY unpleasant experience as I didn't have any anestetics as putting it would've hurt more). He said that was quite not that much and couldn't say what was broken in my knee. So I got walking sticks with me, order to walk and bike within pain limits and no taekwondo for few months.
I'll go back in two weeks to find out what needs to be done. Some of the ligaments are broken, I hope they're "just" a bit torn, I don't want a syntethic ligaments as the rehabilitation from that takes up to a year!
So during the weekend I rested and on Saturday I even walked 5 km! I was a bit sad as I wanted to show some taekwondo to my parents but obviously couldn't do that :( But luckily the weekend passed by without any big pain. And every day I've been able to bend my knee a bit more and now I get it even straight!
Today I was sitting at a lecture and couldn't get my leg straight. So my knee was starting to hurt and the pain killers didn't help. I had planned to walk back home so that I would get some exercise but I hardly could walk to eat. Dorota was kind and took me back home and finally I got my leg straight. The pain also started to ease. But I was in a bad mood because of the pain and because I couldn't walk without the sticks.
I started to plan an exercise plan for my self (Functional Training) and went through my plans and felt really good after that. I could bend my knee and do something with it without any pain! it's hurting a bit now, but nothing bad. I still feel good.

I know knee accidents are always tricky and I know I need a lots of patience with this. I cannot do any taekwondo this year anymore, but luckily I can do some other workouts, and on Sundays we have this exercises with kiryagi balls, so I'm going to participate in that and in that way be involved in taekwondo. I want to get my knee back in good shape and I know that requires a lot of work. It's a bit depressing that I cannot do any taekwondo, but these things happen. I'll try to keep my spirits up, this is not the end! I'll get my knee back in good shape and get back to taekwondo! It just makes me sad because I would have wanted to train with Tarmo and progress together with him and now I'm starting to lag behind. But luckily I had my belt examination just before this happened!

So, this is the reson for my mood swings. It makes me feel a stupid and weak person to let this get me down. But I'll get better and train taekwondo inside my head and go and see some training sessions, that way I can also learn! So head up and ahead!